I cannot, for the life of me, get a Millennial to talk to me on the phone. I will stalk them until they just cannot figure out another excuse for declining my call. A conversation will ensue. They will say, “I’ll get back to you,” and they do, by email or text. <sigh> A complex deal is not effectively negotiated over email or text. Trading tracked term sheets or redline drafts back and forth without ever speaking live makes me crazy, and to my (X/Boomer) way of thinking (and learning and processing) is not efficient nor designed to produce the best client result possible. I don’t get the contradiction - a Millennial who is used to working collaboratively now wants to avoid that very process. So it must be me. (Arrrgghhh.)
I’ve been reading about tips and techniques. I’ve been listening to TED talks. I’ve been talking to my Millennial offspring and the Millennial staff in our office. (One of my millennial children said,
possibly very wisely, “Mom, there is not a formula for dealing with us. Some people are just assholes.”)
There is a generation clash in the law arena - internally within offices and externally between professionals. Just in my office there are 5 generations: Old Boomers, Young Boomers, Cuspers, Gen Xers, and Millennials. Each of us has a different style of working and communicating. Until my recent communication headaches, I have not thoughtfully considered the generational clash that is present in my own office and thousands of others. Or, how Generational learning and upbringing can impact working relationships and problem solving.
Millennials have grown up collaborating. Beginning in elementary school, they worked in teams. They paired up with a partner. They grew up in team sports. Millennial parents were actively participatory and involved. Soccer was a family activity. In my generation, sports was a drop off. I got dropped off at the pool; my parents were more excited than me for my driver’s license because I could drive myself. (I thought they were selfless when a car with a giant red bow was in the driveway at 5am on the day of my 16th birthday.) It would never have occurred to my parents to bundle up lawn chairs, pack a picnic & all the siblings, load up the car and cart the whole family to soccer for the afternoon. Yet that is exactly what routinely happened in millions of millennial families, including my own.
A Millennial comes to a law office often managed my Boomers where a team approach isn’t the norm. The Boomer management style is for the new lawyers to shadow and learn. Then, the new lawyer goes forward independently. Gen X prefers this approach and chafes when “micromanaged.” Yet, millennials need regular feedback – that’s what they grew up with, that’s how they are molded. They also believe they will be successful in their endeavor (after all, their parents, teachers, coaches, advisors, friends, the media – everyone told them so). It seems natural this is their expectation, and this is the style they bring into the work force. I haven’t really figured this out before now. My office is mostly Xers. The lawyers on the other side that I’m accustomed to working with are Xers or Boomers so talking on the phone or in person - pointed, assertive, challenging conversations - are normal. Yet, these Millennials seem reluctant to talk live. Which, to me is odd, given favoriting Facetime and Skype, etc.
I understand better now, I think, that for Millennials it isn’t about “approval” or "authority" necessarily, it is about feedback. Feedback is great – I lean heavily on my partners and staff for feedback. Now I know to suggest upfront that we all collaborate – get a team together to talk out the problem and find a collective solution. Which really works for me since I think that’s how things can effectively get done and produces an excellent result for all.
BUTTTTT, I don’t believe this is a final solution or a panacea for future success, so I’m listening. Advice, please.